Fall is on our doorstop, summer is saying its last goodbyes and daily life is resuming much to our disappointment. But it doesn’t have to be this way; September weather is ideal, not too hot, not too cold and what better than to attend a massive party in the streets of le city of love?
Join us in front of the Deezer Bus on 19th September for the Paris Techno Parade, 5 hours of pure electro bliss and festivities. In case you’re a gawky dancer and look about as comfortable as a fish on dry land, here are 10 incredible inspirational dance moves by people who actually couldn’t give a damn. Grab some serious footwork tips from these fascinating heroes of the ordinary world.
And if you want to practice, here is the official Deezer bus playlist.
1. The “concrete burner”
If you got attitude like Kaycee here, then hang on to the back of the bus and crunk like you can’t crunk no more.
2. The “barrier humping”
The music’s pumping, and you’ve battled your way to the front of the parade… and go mental; There ain’t nothing to loose not even your street cred left behind at home when you decided to wear pink and green leg warmers.
3. The “Cyber goth windmill”
When they’re not flapping their arms in an industrial park out in the suburbs, these young Cyber goths are either practicing their moves in their bedroom or following their very own special truck at the Techno Parade. Hats off to the guy with the woolly blue braids for impeccable arm coordination.
4. The “convulsive Ariel”
Halfway between Disney’s Ariel having a seizure and a sea lion giving birth, these aquatic dance moves are rather mesmerizing… If ever it starts to rain in Paris you know what remains to be done in the overflowing sewage puddles.
5. The “BPM maestro”
For those of you who haven’t yet stumbled across a Hakken video, here is a great example of this rave dance originating from the Dutch Hardcore and Gabber scene. The point is to dance along to the beats of the song, which can reach up to 190 BPM. The real trick is to pretend you’re riding a pony in a pair of Nike Air Max with a fanny pack (or bum bag depending what side of the Atlantic you’re on) slung over your shoulders. Adidas poppers are a plus.
6. The “chameleon”
The art of the Techno Parade is to master those dance moves no matter what music is playing or which parade bus you’re following.
7. The “I don’t give a Flying F”
If nothing is stopping him, then there is certainly nothing stopping you, get out of bed, shove your belongings into a plastic bag and pull off some mean moves.
8. The “grind it like granny”
This lady has some serious skills; fist pump to the left, fist pump to the right, twerk it to the floor, even the dog’s like “oh god I can’t watch, she’s way too bad ass.”
9. The “index finger”
There is always much to learn from kids, check out this mini 1997 rave party. A pint-sized version of adult ravers (without the jaw clenching): open and highly flammable nylon shirts, trackies, round sunglasses and fabulous dance moves. Bow down to the perfectly executed “index finger pushing invisible button” move!
10. The “move over you amateur ”
Now if you’re lucky enough to be on top of an actual parade bus (mingle with the peasants down below! Whatever for?) This video is basically 90’s tackiness in all its glory: leopard crop tops, curtain hair and above all questionable dance moves in shimmery halter necks… An all time classic that should be rehabilitated a.s.a.p.
What’s a list without a bonus! Behold the classic, the ultimate and inimitable Techno Viking!
Ok he did file a lawsuit against the proud owner of the video for character assassination, but no one will ever be as classy and majestic as this medieval Thor, EVER!